I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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