Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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