don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
