I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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