So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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