Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
