Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
