this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
