so that wasnt chicken after all
My balls are so social today.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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