You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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