I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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