Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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