planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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