bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
