problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
