Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize