so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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