no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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