The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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