when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize