i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
