oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
