Don't make out with my wife yet
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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