Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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