My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
