need another drink. this is the easiest way
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
