I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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