y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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