Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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