Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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