Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
