**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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