Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
