we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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