Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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