Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My dick has a subreddit
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
