I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
