i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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