and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I need moral support for this bender
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
