People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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