Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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