Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
