i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize