There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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