Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize