His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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