I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize