im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
As shirtless as possible
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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