If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize