smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
