Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
