Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
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