Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
