yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
