my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
