So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
