I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
