Farmville is her only friend.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize