I hate all girls vehemently.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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