Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Boobs are out for the taking
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
