Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
